Answered Prayer

The house is quiet, baby is asleep, and I wanted to use this opportunity to share a few things that have been on my heart lately.

I have been praying for a long time that God would give me a desire for Him. I fully believe He has really answered that prayer. I am finding myself more and more just longing to know more of Him, and what's more, to really serve Him. I am absolutely thrilled by this discovery. It's actual feelings I have, something I have very rarely experienced in my entire walk with the Lord! I am greatly hoping this is the start of a huge change in my life, where I love God more than anything or anyone else in my life and want to give up everything for Him. I'd like to share a few things that have happened to me and that I've learned that have really made me thoughtful. I pray that if whoever reads this has not already learned this, that God would open up your hearts and minds to discover these same revelations I've been having, because I am so overjoyed about it and I want so much to share it and hopefully, be used to plant these seeds in the hearts of others as well.

One thing that I've had a revelation about recently is actually the gospel itself. I've lived for a very long time under the impression that God disapproves of me all the time, because I am so wretched and I mess up SO much, and I don't read His word nearly as often as I should and I'm just, overall, a huge mess. I couldn't figure out what the line was between faith and works, that whole topic made absolutely no sense to me at all. I've spent so long trying so hard to please God through works, trying and failing all the time. Just recently it hit me: because Christ died for us and was without sin, God only looks at Jesus and not me. He looks at, and is greatly pleased with Jesus, and not at me. So no matter how many times I mess up, because Christ died for me, God is looking at His Son. I am SO thankful. It's amazing to me that God cared enough to send His Son. Now I think I really understand.

Also, the other day I was able to sit down and have time with God, and I was reading in Luke chapters 20 and 21. Amazingly, my brain didn't wander like it usually does. I was able to be very intent on what I was learning, and ended up being absolutely floored by what I discovered. Luke 21 is the chapter where Jesus is talking about the end times. My Bible's notes referenced me to Romans 11:25, and I read on down to 32-

25I do not want you to be ignorant of this mystery, brothers and sisters, so that you may not be conceited: Israel has experienced a hardening in part until the full number of the Gentiles has come in, 26 and in this way all Israel will be saved. As it is written:


"The deliverer will come from Zion,
he will turn godlessness away from Jacob.
27 And this is my covenant with them 
when I take away their sins." 


28 As far as the gospel is concerned, they are enemies for your sake; but as far as election is concerned, they are loved on account of the patriarchs, 29 for God's gifts and His call are irrevocable. 30 Just as you who were at one time disobedient to God have now received mercy as a result of their disobedience, 31 so they too have now become disobedient in order that they too may now receive mercy as a result of God's mercy to you. 32 For God has bound everyone over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all.



After reading this, I felt absolutely astonished and in awe. God let the Israelites be disobedient so He could save everyone outside of His chosen people? The Gentiles?? Even me? I am completely humbled and absolutely astounded that God would care enough about us to give everyone, even those who were not His original chosen people, the chance to come to Him and know Him and love Him. I cannot even describe how awesome that is and how terribly grateful I am. What a merciful, incredible God. 


I've been making time ever since this to get into the Word at least a little bit every day. I've found that even in my free time, when I would usually be either frantically cleaning the house or trying to relax by doing some recreational activity I enjoy, the last couple days I've been using it to read my Bible more. I discovered the other day that Acts is really Luke: the SEQUEL, and I am really excited to start reading that one, because Luke kind of leaves you hanging. But I wanted to finish John first, so I've been devouring that one to get to Acts. (Though, don't get me wrong, even after reading the other three gospels, John still has even more to offer and I've been enjoying that too). But I'm very excited to start on Acts. I think now I will understand more of that one, where I didn't before. 


Anyway, all this to say, I think I am now truly thirsting after God. I am absolutely longing to know Him more and more. I want so much to learn everything I possibly can about Him. I am now also very much longing to meet the Jesus of the Bible. I want to see Him face to face, or rather, face to His feet, because I'm also terrified of that prospect, even though I want it more than I ever did before.