He is WONDERFUL.

When Micah falls down and hurts himself, my heart cries right along with him. Sometimes tears will even prick the backs of my eyes, even though I know he is just fine, and in five minutes, he'll be running around again, almost as good as new. Except for the egg on his head. Despite that knowledge, I have a fierce urge to scoop him up and rock him gently as he rests in my arms and sobs. Eventually, the tears stop flowing, and he just lays there, both of us soaking up each other's closeness.

Things have been difficult these past few weeks. I am about to be thrust in the midst of huge upheaval for myself and my little family, about to say goodbye to some very dear friends and fellowship, I believe I am battling physical depression right now (I know it's because of the lack of sunlight but that doesn't really make it any easier), and there are some things going on right now that are making me struggle with just plain sadness. At church this week, there were moments where I just wanted to sit down and burst into tears. As the second service began, I was struck with a realization. I do believe that I AM trusting in God with what's going on. But trusting in Him doesn't mean I'm not allowed to feel sadness sometimes. Granted, there is a point at which you must question whether or not you really are trusting. But letting the tears fall sometimes is not a bad thing. It hurts to die to the things that you have long hoped for, to lose something that is precious to you.

Not only do I believe I'm allowed to grieve sometimes, I also firmly believe that God can grieve with us, just as we can feel sadness with our children when they are hurting. He knows me. He understands me more intimately than anyone else. Jesus wept when Lazarus died, and yet I'm fairly certain he knew that he would raise Lazarus from the dead. God knows what will happen to me, He knows that I will be just fine. But I think that He can be still with me for just a moment, and hurt with me. I am allowed to run to His arms and cry out to Him. We all are, because of Christ.

And just being certain of that has given me peace beyond measure, my heart is overflowing with gratefulness and true JOY, to have a God who is willing to reach down to pick me up, and let me rest in Him.