Dear. GRACIOUS. Hold me.

I am so stressed out right now. And procrastinating as I write this...again. Micah and I will be flying out of Alaska for good in 3 weeks and 6 days, and Scott will follow us a few days after that. Life with a toddler is pretty draining as it is, much as I love him. But now I have what feels like a mile-long list of things to get done before that time. And I AM NOT GETTING THEM DONE. At all. In fact, since Monday, I've been writing out lists of everything we need to remember, looking pathetically around the house, and then I sort of shut down and just block everything out of my brain and browse Pinterest and houses for rent in our next new area. It's a vicious cycle. I get up with purpose, feed us breakfast, figure out what needs to be done for the day at breakfast, get distracted with e-mail or the news, remind myself I have stuff to do, get up, see toys and other random objects strewn ALL OVER the house, Micah pulling MORE things out of the kitchen drawers, then my brain is assaulted with all the things that need to be done TODAY, and then I just want to break down again and ignore everything.

Care to see my to-do list today?

-Get us both dressed
-Make breakfast 
-Fervently wish that I could take a shower, but there's no way that's happening today
-Load up stray dishes, while Micah stands at the dishwasher and tries to unload them
-Wash pots and pans
-Sweep the floors so Micah doesn't eat anything off them
-Clean up the kitchen for later today, because I just cannot work in a dirty kitchen (It takes twice as long for me to cook anything in a messy kitchen.), and I still have to feed my family.
-Erase November and set the calendar up for December, sort out month to-do list on calendar
-Make a grocery menu for this week
-Work on grocery list
-Feed us lunch (oops, now I have to cheat on my diet because I don't have TIME to prep anything for lunch)
-Sit for an hour while attempting to feed Micah lunch; just decide to skip lunch myself, but scarf down a few crackers and marshmallows. We really need to go grocery shopping.
-Go grocery shopping after Micah's nap, trying not to listen to my hunger pangs and buy way more than I'd planned
-Put all the food away while looking longingly at it
-Practice a bunch of music for worship team on Sunday...lots of hymns and those are not my strong points
-Start the huge project of sorting through our kitchen and getting rid of as much junk as possible - something I SHOULD have started at the beginning of this week. I have a room or two assigned to each of these next three weeks, and I need to get them done within that time frame.
-Keep all the dangerous stuff out of Micah's reach (a task all by itself. Micah's already found a sharp BBQ fork to walk around the house with, and a bunch of batteries to suck on. *sigh*.)
-Keep washing and drying loads of laundry, 2 more to go!
-Fold the ever growing pile of clean laundry on the couch so Micah quits throwing it all over the living room
-Put away folded clothes so Micah doesn't undo all the work I just did
-Make dinner while keeping Micah out from underfoot, continue to tell him to please stop whining and that I cannot hold him right now
-Wash the pots and pans again
-Load up the stray dishes...again (or just leave them there for tomorrow's to-do)
-Keep working on kitchen sorting project after Micah goes to bed
-Give Scott assistance at times while he makes two triple bunk beds for someone...a project we must finish before we pack out.
-Give up all hope of ever getting anything done, go around the house and document the mess with pictures, and rant on the blog about how stressed I am and I'm not doing anything.
-Freak out because I just discovered I have reached my limit of pictures I can upload on Google...so no more pictures for a while until I have the time to figure out how to get rid of really old pictures.
-Figure out how much I need to clean the house tomorrow for company tomorrow night
-Figure out what to feed said company

This may not look like a huge list, but I have to do it all while Micah whines at me to be picked up, tries to play with me, finds dangerous objects to play with if my back is turned for one moment, finds MORE things to scatter around the floor for me to pick up, needs diaper changes periodically, often follows me around and undoes work I JUST DID, and it is now 1:12 pm and all I have managed to accomplish is feeding Micah breakfast and lunch, getting him dressed (I don't have any clean clothes yet...so yeah. Still not dressed.), and making a dinner menu for only half the week, and writing down a few grocery items we'll need. Not to mention the fact that EVERY DAY is like this right now, just wait 'til I share with you my to-do list for this MONTH! Oh, and because there's so much for this month to accomplish, I also have all of THOSE things in the back of my mind as I'm feebly trying (and failing) to get other things done for just one day.

And now Micah's down for a nap. Guess I'd better get to that laundry. And maybe get dressed.

*sigh*