Ethiopia Adoption: Part 1

Disclaimer: I have no idea what I'm talking about.

This is going to be as simple a breakdown of the Ethiopian adoption process as I can manage. As we reach each milestone in the process, I will post more about the steps taken and explain them in more detail. But for now, here is a general outline of what we expect to happen in the next year or so.

Obviously, we had to start by choosing an agency. I think that this is very, very important to the process, and I think it deserves a post all on its own. But for now, I'll just share some of the reasons we chose our agency. They have the proper licensing, and after doing a lot of research, we trust that they are doing all they can to be certain that this adoption is giving us a child who truly needs it. They only have programs for China and Ethiopia, and have been established for over 15 years. We believe that because of this, they are very good at what they do in these two areas. They are based in Utah, which means it's a lot quicker to mail things, and they are the ones who can facilitate our homestudy. They respond very quickly to any questions we have, and are very patient with us. They obviously love what they are doing. These are a few of the reasons, and perhaps when I have time, I'll talk more about the licensing part of it, and the story of how we found them.

The next step is applying. For this particular agency, we had to fill out a lot of paperwork, mainly contracts, breakdowns of costs, basic information about us, and things of that sort. We filled all this out, signed and notarized them, and mailed them in with a check for the application fee. If you want to know how much we are paying, feel free to e-mail me or message me on facebook. I don't feel comfortable sharing that information online. But let's just say, we're on a very tight budget. ;-)

After we received the e-mail saying that we were officially accepted into the Ethiopia program, they sent us...surprise, surprise! More paperwork! This is what will initiate the next part of this process: the homestudy. The homestudy is basically our lives on paper. It is very intensive, and will most likely take anywhere from 2 - 6 months to complete. This first packet of paperwork was more contracts to sign, and background checks on us, and the homestudy fee to begin the homestudy. We sent that one in yesterday. I think that as soon as our background checks are cleared, we will be assigned a social worker, who will be making three visits with us. One of these visits must be at our home, so they can see our floor plan, and make sure that it is safe for a child. The other visits are to get to know us better, and they really want to know us! Some of the questions they have on the questionnaire we have to fill out are rather personal, but it is in the best interest of both us and our future child. The social worker will determine whether we are capable parents that can provide a loving, stable home, and they will also help us figure out what needs in a child we can and cannot handle as a family.

About a week before the homestudy is finalized, we need to start compiling our dossier. The dossier (pronounced "doss-ee-ae") is a collection of documents that we send to Ethiopia (and maybe the US government as well, I'm not sure) as part of our petition to adopt. It is HUGE. Some of the documents that will most likely be required are things like financial information, a physician's statement that we are healthy and fit to be parents, marriage and birth certificates, the completed homestudy, and the list goes on and on. If I understand correctly, many of these documents must be notarized, certified, apostilled, and authenticated. Which, to my understanding, means checked, double checked, triple checked, and quadruple checked.

This part of the process I am not quite certain of yet, so I may be wrong. But I believe after the homestudy is finalized and our dossier is compiled and quadruple checked, we send the entire dossier to the Ethiopian government, and then the waiting begins. This is the point at which many adoptive families rejoice and can say, "We are DTE!" (Dossier to Ethiopia). Unfortunately, this can also be one of the tougher parts. We will be waiting for the agency to give us a referral, which means that they have found a child for us. It will probably take anywhere from 12 to 18 months for us to get a referral for a child. It is a very long wait. The good thing is, this will give us time to save money and fundraise, because a lot of money will be due by the time we finally get that referral!

The referral is one of the most anticipated and celebrated milestones an adoptive family can have in this process. (Though possibly scary, too!) Once we get "the call", the agency will e-mail us pictures of the referred child, and any medical history and other information they have on him or her. We will have a certain amount of time to accept or reject it. Once we accept our referral, I believe more paperwork has to be done on the end of the Ethiopian court. Again, I'm not sure of the whole process, but I believe that we will be assigned a court date, and when we get that we will have permission to travel to Ethiopia for about a week. This will be a week of court appointments, probably more paperwork, and what I've seen other adoptive parents affectionately refer to as, "Meetcha Day." We will finally get to meet our child, and spend time with him/her. The agency we are using has a guest house that is right across the street from at least one of the orphanages; it looks like they take care to make sure we get to spend as much time as possible with our little one.

Here comes probably one of, if not the toughest part. Once we spend a week with our child, we have to leave them behind. It makes me sad just thinking about it, and we don't even know who it is yet! But we have to go back to the States, and wait for the government to process the rest of the paperwork that will make our child officially ours. I think this can take anywhere from 4 - 6 months. In the meantime, we will be paying for our little one to stay in a foster care home instead of the orphanage as we wait to bring them home. Finally, when all of the paperwork is processed, visa paperwork done, we will travel there again to bring our little one home.

So there it is, in a nutshell. (Yes, that was a nutshell. Pretty crazy, huh?) And that was just Part 1! A lot more happens after we bring our child home. But that will be saved for Part 2. Aren't you excited now? If you aren't sleeping?

Anyway, I will be posting updates in detail as we hit each major milestone. We would so appreciate it if you could commit to pray for us during all this. We are so excited, but we have a very long journey ahead.

My Boys

We went out the other day for a photo shoot since SOMEONE wasn't able to make it to us, and we were trying to drown our sorrows by doing everything we were planning on doing...without them. I guess that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but there it is. Anyway, I was kind of stupid and was so focused on composition that I completely forgot to check settings except for exposure...and ended up getting home to realize my ISO was up WAY too high. Also, I didn't get many shots either, because it was pretty chilly and we were all cold, (notice Scott's clenched fists?) so we lasted maybe 15 minutes. So, there was only one that turned out well. But I got one decent shot at least!

Baby Animal Days!

In the future, this could possibly turn out to be a family tradition for the duration of our time here. Micah and I drove an hour out to a very beautiful countryside yesterday, to a huge farm-like area that held "Baby Animal Days." It was SO great. For not very much at all, we were able to go on a little train ride, pet numerous animals, enjoy gorgeous natural surroundings, and several other events. We had a lot of fun. Micah definitely enjoyed it! 

Our view as we came in...

Micah really enjoyed the train. :)

Animals!

"Tows!!!"

He likes pretty much anything that looks like a wheel or a ball.

We even enjoyed a free wagon ride!

This was an event that rather shocked me. They let little kids sign up to put a helmet on, and RIDE a SHEEP for as long as they could hold on as the sheep barreled furiously across the corral. Whoever held on the longest won. It was insane and hilarious and I want to see it again.

This was where we hung out for a while and ate lunch. For some reason, people hardly ever walked by this area. But it was beautiful and peaceful and quiet, perfect.

 We had a wonderful time, looking forward to doing it again next year!

Toddler kisses...they're the best!

Last Time

In the wake of another CME (Coronal Mass Ejection), and several e-mails warning us that the Aurora is going to be very active, I've found myself missing Alaska again. It's kind of hard to see so many pictures posted, and be able to join the action no longer. I miss the exciting nights of checking various sites for Aurora forecasts, of driving out into the dark night with a dear friend, and the thrill of seeing that first green glimmer of the lights, even though I'd seen them many times before.

But I am so grateful for the memories made, and that I DID have the opportunity, several times to experience the ethereal beauty of the Northern Lights. There was one last picture I took, of the very last display we saw, that I have not shared yet. It seems a good time now to share it. It was the brightest, most incredible display we'd seen yet. We were even able to see pinks and reds with our naked eyes, which is a rare occurrence, and there were several branches of it that twisted and swirled very quickly as we watched. Unfortunately, they did not last long, and began to dissipate soon after we got to the top of the summit where we wanted to view them. And the wind was terribly, bone-chillingly cold and very strong, making it very difficult to get any decent photos. Still, at least I ended up with this one.

I am grateful to have been witness to such a beautiful display of God's glory in His creation.

Swing, swing, swiiiiiiing!

It got to 70 degrees yesterday. What else do you do with a gorgeous, sunny, spring day than have Daddy build a swing for his boy?

A Little Hike

The weather has been beautiful, so we decided to go on a little hike the other day. And I got some pictures. I was trying to do a "golden hour" shoot with my boys, but I have cheap lenses and they didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped. I'm rather disappointed. Still, I wanted to share the best ones. 

 Scott's face kept being weird. Because, well, Micah.

It was so beautiful. Someday, I'm going to get an awesome lens. And then I'll get to take awesome pictures. 

Reminiscing

I can't believe it's already been 7 months since our last golden, summer days in Alaska. We lived very close to a little state recreation park called the Chena Flood Plain, and during summer we often biked there when the weather was nice. This is an impromptu photo shoot we did during one such outing. I meant to post these a long time ago, but, well, time flies when you have a toddler. ;-)

I still miss Alaska quite a lot. But I am very grateful for the time we got there, the memories we made, and perhaps someday, we can even go back.

In Which I Make an Idiot of Myself

I have two friends about to set off to Haiti. Our church is also sending a team to Haiti this next month. Another friend is currently in Africa, a place I have been absolutely longing to go again. Now that I am older and have matured in my relationship with God, I want to go back to a continent I love and share fellowship with God's people there, and perhaps share the gospel and God's love with the people there who don't know Him. Every time we have missionaries come through, I have to battle with huge desire welling up within me to join them on the overseas mission field, except in Africa. But I can't. I am married, and my first priority is my husband and my darling little boy. So I am waiting. Perhaps someday, I can. Maybe I never will. It is rather hard, this waiting. In case this sounds like another depressing post, it isn't. Because I'm about to tell you about how I embarrass myself.

Last night, Scott and I were able to attend a small group meeting. We've been to the house of the hosts a few times before, but every time, small groups itself was either canceled, or people just couldn't make it. So last night, we got to meet several people whom we'd not been able to meet before. One of these people was a sweet, quiet young lady. As soon as I saw her face, I instantly snapped to attention because her features looked quite a lot like someone from Africa. My guess was confirmed when she began to speak, there was the soft African accent I was half expecting. She had come in right before we gathered around the table for the study, so there were no introductions. The entire time, I was trying hard not to look too long at her, I was absolutely thrilled she was there, and thinking how I could casually introduce my family and I to her without seeming strange.

 The study went for a long time, and at one point, a discussion came up about the sermon preached that morning. The pastor had mentioned how full of life and how in love with God many believers in third-world countries seemed to be, while we here in America often struggle with complacency and being stagnant in our walks with God. I saw my chance. Without thinking, as soon as there was an appropriate pause and a perfect opportunity, I blurted out that I had been to Malawi and been able to see just how wonderful and full of life those precious people were. I felt awkward, and my ears were hot and burning, as I kept talking, trying to stop myself with a good ending. I knew I was just trying to talk to the Kenyan across from me, trying to show her that I was interested in Africa and wanted to meet her. I must not have sounded too bad, since the rest of the group nodded seriously and took up what I had said with other examples of their own. 

Finally, around 8:20, the study wrapped up with a prayer and we began getting ready to leave to get Micah home to bed. There wasn't much time, and I badly wanted to meet the young lady, so I quickly ran up, and said,
"Hi, your name is Arafa*?"
"Yes..."
"I'm Erin, and that's my husband Scott and my son Micah!" I babbled, a little too quickly.
"Nice to meet you," She smiled slightly and shook my hand. There was a pause. Again, my mouth spoke before my mind. Slightly desperate to make some kind of conversation, and hardly able to contain my excitement, I looked at her and said,
"So, you're from KENYA?!? That's awesome!" She nodded quietly, there was another pause, and then she turned her attention to the conversation going on at the table. I came away mentally kicking and berating myself. What a moron.

I'm afraid I probably blew my chance to get to know her. I'm still feeling embarrassed as I write this. But I am so very glad she is in our small groups. Perhaps someday, she'll forget the weird, awkward introduction with which I attacked her. Someday.

"Oh my!"

Here's a little something to lighten up the tone I've taken with writing lately. Enjoy!


And yes. He was playing with mismatched socks. And I moved them and replaced them with a cute teddy bear in the second video. ;-)

This is a Pitiful Cry for Help

Sometimes, I long for eternity to come.

I am longing to meet Jesus, face to face.

I am longing to be home, where I will spend eternity with Him, and with all my dear friends who also love Him.

I am so tired of how transient life is. I desperately want a place to call "home" here on earth. A place that is familiar, solid, that will always be there, and to which I will always be able to return. It tears me up to have to continually make precious new friends, wonderful fellowship, and then to leave and not ever return to the way things were. I am grieving for it all right now - for the people we have loved and left behind, again; for the sweet memories we have made and may never again be able to revisit; even for the smallest things - from seeing moose roam everywhere in the spring, to driving out with a friend trying to capture the Aurora on camera, to shivering our way to the warm house of friends who understand how tough it is to live with 50 below zero outside and darkness that lasts all day. I am grasping for something familiar here in this new place, and am having a difficult time finding it. I have gone through this process so many times, and it never gets easier. In fact, it rather seems to get harder every time. And I know it's going to keep happening over and over again. So, I am tired.

I know deep down that I am not the only one facing this. Everyone goes through difficult changes in life. I know that the people who are blessed to stay in one place their whole lives have to watch the dear ones they love leave, for good. There are those who lose a loved one from this life completely. Even small changes - children changing and growing, leaving their mothers crying out to re-live just another few moments with their sweet, tiny babies. I am struggling so hard to remember that there is someone else hurting tonight, too.

I do know that despite how hard things are, I must still cling to my Lord. Right now I am trying to hold on to Him, but I feel as though I am drowning, just barely hanging on by a thread. My very human flesh wants to give up. I am praying that He takes hold of me and doesn't let me fall. Because I am wretched and weak and I can't do it alone.

And I am so sorry to all who are also going through a difficult time. It seems so petty and selfish of me to be barely holding it together through my own trial, when there are so many who are going through far worse.

The only encouragement I have to offer you, that I absolutely know to be true is this: someday, we WILL all come home. And there will be no more pain, no more sorrow. There will only be huge joy, resting in the arms of our Saviour.

Some Fun on a Friday...

Here are some things that have been keeping us laughing. Perhaps you've already seen them, and in that case, these are our favorites. Enjoy!

...And I'm up again! Sort of.

Well, we are here. We've been in our new area for a week now, after spending a couple weeks visiting friends and family in WA. There is still so much going on, I don't even really KNOW where to start with blogging again. And I still can't post pictures for a while, until our shipment comes in and we've got our computer set up again. But I'll post little updates here and there until we've gotten settled. Until then, here's a bit of what's going on:

~We signed a lease yesterday! God has been so good, we are blown away by how He has provided. It's a GREAT little house, an actual HOUSE, with a backyard! And lots of storage areas! And lots of parking, for all the people we plan on having over! And a garbage disposal! We are so grateful.

~The house is also half a mile away from Chick-fil-a, and a mile away from a Super Target. Thankfully, we're about to have a budget. That we absolutely intend to stick to. :-P

~We've been exploring this place every day, since we don't really have anything else to do. It's so insane to us how close everything is here, and just how many stores and restaurants there are. Not to mention all the things to actually DO out here, including indoor sky diving, a couple dinosaur parks, an air park (a room full of giant trampolines), a two hour simulation of space missions, and the list goes on and on.

~There are huge mountains as a backdrop to every town we've driven around so far. It is truly beautiful. We could get used to this. :-)  

~I am still missing Alaska and my very dear friends out there a lot. It's been a grieving process for me, but I know that God will use this to stretch me and I will grow. Which is a good thing. I just have to keep reminding myself that this world is not my home.

~And the best for last...the church we went to last Sunday was GREAT! We've already gone to lunch with an older couple this week, and today I'm getting together with someone else for coffee. I am thankful, it appears we won't have any problems finding good fellowship here with other believers.

That's all for now. Hopefully we'll get our shipment soon, and then I'll be able to post pictures!

'Twas the Night OF Christmas...

...and I am currently undergoing a brain explosion.

I am so incredibly stressed. So stressed, that Scott had to hold me earlier as I sobbed and told him it was simply all the bottled up stress coming out. It was a relief to just let the tears flow for a little while. And I am sad. It has finally sunk in that I am leaving, for good. Leaving the place we got married, leaving the first home I had with my love, leaving the place we had our precious firstborn, and the worst of it: leaving some very dear friends behind. We won't share our lives together anymore.

In spite of all this, I am also excited. Subdued excitement for now, but it is there. I can hardly believe I am finally about to be in much warmer weather, and DAYLIGHT. It is unbelievable to me that I am about to live in such a beautiful place, surrounded by actual stores, restaurants, parks - anything we can think of really.

I praise God for all of this. For the huge blessings that are headed our way, and indeed, are already there. I am praising Him through the really difficult things too. I know that He cares deeply about me, and I will cling to Him and let Him guide us on this new chapter in our lives.

Now, let's just hope I can keep it together long enough to board a plane tomorrow with Micah, and fly away into a new unknown.

After some visiting first. Of course. ;)

It's Work-Out Time!

In my struggle against the darkness that pervades this land, or in less dramatic terms - lack of sunlight - I've tried to start exercising again in attempts at picking myself up from the slump I'm in and get more energy. But I had a problem: the Insanity work-outs we have are FAR above my abilities, Netflix no longer has the work-out shows they were previously streaming, Youtube is rather difficult to pick through to find something good, the base gym is most definitely not a regular option, and I was rather at a loss what to do. Until tonight. I had a stroke of copying other workouts I've seen genius, and behold! Here is the result. (Note: requires the help of a spouse or someone who lives in your house. Just make sure they have the ability to show some degree of mercy.)

Zelda Workout

1. Run in place when Link runs
2. Knee highs or butt kicks when Link talks to a character
3. Do jumping jacks during fights
4. 1 burpee when an enemy is killed
5. 4 kickbox punches when a rupee/heart/item is collected
6. 2 crunches every time Link rolls
7. Mountain climbers while Link climbs a ladder or vines
8. Log jumps when Link rides a horse or other creatures
9. 5 push-ups when Link opens something
10. 10 lunges when a female smiles/giggles at Link
11. 10 burpees if Link dies
12. For bosses - a combination of all of these, depending on how the boss is fought

And...that's it! I definitely broke a sweat while doing this, so I consider it a success!

He is WONDERFUL.

When Micah falls down and hurts himself, my heart cries right along with him. Sometimes tears will even prick the backs of my eyes, even though I know he is just fine, and in five minutes, he'll be running around again, almost as good as new. Except for the egg on his head. Despite that knowledge, I have a fierce urge to scoop him up and rock him gently as he rests in my arms and sobs. Eventually, the tears stop flowing, and he just lays there, both of us soaking up each other's closeness.

Things have been difficult these past few weeks. I am about to be thrust in the midst of huge upheaval for myself and my little family, about to say goodbye to some very dear friends and fellowship, I believe I am battling physical depression right now (I know it's because of the lack of sunlight but that doesn't really make it any easier), and there are some things going on right now that are making me struggle with just plain sadness. At church this week, there were moments where I just wanted to sit down and burst into tears. As the second service began, I was struck with a realization. I do believe that I AM trusting in God with what's going on. But trusting in Him doesn't mean I'm not allowed to feel sadness sometimes. Granted, there is a point at which you must question whether or not you really are trusting. But letting the tears fall sometimes is not a bad thing. It hurts to die to the things that you have long hoped for, to lose something that is precious to you.

Not only do I believe I'm allowed to grieve sometimes, I also firmly believe that God can grieve with us, just as we can feel sadness with our children when they are hurting. He knows me. He understands me more intimately than anyone else. Jesus wept when Lazarus died, and yet I'm fairly certain he knew that he would raise Lazarus from the dead. God knows what will happen to me, He knows that I will be just fine. But I think that He can be still with me for just a moment, and hurt with me. I am allowed to run to His arms and cry out to Him. We all are, because of Christ.

And just being certain of that has given me peace beyond measure, my heart is overflowing with gratefulness and true JOY, to have a God who is willing to reach down to pick me up, and let me rest in Him.

Redesign...again

Ok, so I suppose that last blog design didn't work for most of you. I forgot, everyone has smart phones now. It looked good on my computer. :P So here's almost the same design as before, with a few updates here and there. Please let me know if it works better!

Ahhh...

Scott and I went to bed at 8:30 last night. On a Friday night. And we both fell asleep pretty quick. So I got 12 hours of sleep last night. Ahhh rest. That was wonderful. We should do that more often. :)

Oh...sun...

Something hit me this morning. I don't remember the last time I saw the sun...already. I have been stuck indoors now for the last 4 days during the little daylight we have, because we still only have one working car. The sun gets just above the horizon now before it sets, we have tall trees clustered all around our backyard and front, and I have not seen even one golden beam shooting into either yard in quite a while. I am feeling quite irrationally depressed. Over pretty much everything. Some big things, some so silly you may think I'm insane if I share. I keep pathetically browsing the duplexes and apartments in our soon-to-be new state, looking at pictures of the ones that have the most windows. The ones that have the most beautiful windows and the most and biggest are out of our price range. And then I almost cry. Then I look at pictures of tropical places, scheming with my two dear friends out here (who are also both depressed) about hopping a flight to Hawaii for a week. I also am having a terribly difficult time being motivated to do ANYTHING except for those few things I just mentioned. Even though I have a lot to get done.

BUT...I do know that I only have a mere 2 weeks and 6 days before I am out of this place for good, I keep trying to remind myself. And then I will see sunshine again. And it will be good.

*sigh*

Aaaaand now both our cars are dead. Because of the cold. So much for a date night tonight.