An Entire Year.

Happy birthday to my darling little boy! I cannot believe you are a whole year old already! It truly seems like hardly any time has passed since people were exclaiming how tiny and new you were. It's incredible to me that a year ago today, I met you for the first time, heard your first cries (really, they were squalls. You were not happy for quite a while, and you had a lusty pair of lungs to express it!), felt the huge relief of suddenly not being pregnant anymore, and began the most wonderful, painful, joyful (all in one!) journey of growing with you.

Things I never want to forget...

How you laughed in your sleep the first day we brought you home, and often did until you were a few months old.

The sweet little squeaks you made.

The way you opened and closed you little mouth when you looked up at anything that caught your attention.

The way you would work your entire forehead up and down as you nursed. You still do sometimes when you drink your bottle.

Your obsession with any ceiling fan you see. Something you had since the first night home.

How still you used to get when you heard music. Now you start smiling and bobbing your head to it. Both equally adorable. :)

How easy you were to startle.

How every time you get excited, you kick your legs and flail your arms and hyperventilate, all with the biggest grin on your face.

The funny gurgling noise you make pretty much every time you make sound.

The first time you laughed.

The first time you rolled over.

The first attempt at crawling. You didn't really crawl for quite a while, but you got around and you looked like an inchworm when you did it.

The day you discovered how to really crawl.

The day you pulled yourself up.

Those incredible first couple of steps.

The night in the hospital after you were born that I realized how deeply I love you. It was night, and I woke up to a sweet, soft little whimper, then a gurgling noise. You spat up a little bit, something I'd never seen before from my brand new baby as a first time mom. You didn't fuss after, but I was instantly overcome with concern, and lifted you out of your bassinet, cleaned your little face up, and cleaned up the tiny puddle in the bassinet. I held you and really looked at you in the dim glow of early dawn coming through the window, and saw just how very small and helpless and fragile you were. Feelings I never knew could be so strong swept over me; I wanted to protect you, nourish you, hold you, and give you the very best that I possibly could of myself. It is a moment I remember often; the moment I first realized you were truly mine to love.

I have no more words to express how amazing this year has been with you, but perhaps this may help a little.



I love you baby boy, so very much more than I could EVER even say.