The babe is down for the night, the husband is shooting things (on the computer), the living room is picked up and I'm determined to not start on any other cleaning projects until the weekend ends, and it's back to the grind tomorrow morning. So here's what's going on in my head:
"Wow! Time by myself! Should I work on my to-do list for the week? Go take a shower? Laze in front of the TV as the husband is lazing in front of his computer? Go clean up the kitchen even more? No, no, no. Not until tomorrow. Clean up our bedroom? Start a load of lau- wait. NO! Eat chocolate? Eat ice cream? Spend all this free time figuring out what I'm going to do, give up, and go to bed? Extra sleep would be nice. But then morning will come too quickly and then no more free time. OH! Should I start those baby booties I want to crochet? Should I try to figure out what's wrong with my camera? No wait, Scott's on the computer."
As I'm reading back on this though...I am rather ashamed. I've had nagging thoughts that perhaps I should dig into my Bible, but I'm so tired and I don't feel like I can read and pay attention to anything. I'm also ashamed as it dawns on me that there are billions of people in the world that do not have these luxuries. They don't have clean water, mindless entertainment at their disposal (which could be somewhat of a good thing), hardly any roof over their heads, are dressed in rags, hardly have any food, and most especially not ice cream or chocolate.
I know that it's not exactly my fault that I have all these luxuries while so many people do not. But I am growing increasingly aware that we take SO much for granted, and don't even really think to generously give to people who are truly in desperate need. The pizza we bought for lunch today? We could have used that money to give a pair of chickens to a family who lives on less than a dollar a day. (Long pause in which I am wracking my brain trying to remember other things we bought recently) My brain is too dead I guess to think of any other examples. I'll come up with more later I'm sure. But you get the point. Lately, every time we spend money on something that we could live without, I've been realizing just how much we spend on ourselves and how little we give to others. It's definitely not a nice realization, but I'm sure God will use it.
For tonight though, I'm going to guiltily slink off to take a shower, then watch a movie with my husband while I eat ice cream.
May I encourage you to not feel guilty for the good things you are blessed with. By all means think through what you can do with out. Give where God wants you to give. But don't feel guilty as you enjoy the good things He has given you. Thank him and be joyful for little blessings (like ice cream) and big blessings (hot running water).
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